Lima, Peru, I am here.

Now the fun begins.

But first, i would like to sum up the great land of America.

I said above that it was rubbish. What was rubbish was the way i did it me thinks. Simply put, if you want to see AND enjoy America the way to do it is roadtrip! I did Greyhound, and that was my mistake. I would rather take the bus than the train for one thing. It may be slower, but in being so you get to see more of the country. And the people. And i thought that would be a good thing. How wrong i was!

Ok, let me start at what i DID like.

1) the toilets. Odd to start with i know. Why? Because the water level is higher, meaning when you pop one out, it doesn't have time to do freefall and splash you up the ass!

2) light switches. They're illuminated toggle switches, as opposed to rocker switches. Ergo, you don't have to feel or fumble for it, you just aim for the light and flick it up with any part of your hand. Easy!

3) food portions. And yes, they are bigger. Not huge, but just, bigger.

And that's it.

Let's do a stat check:

States visited - 21

Distance travelled - 16,238 km. Wow!

Days in country - 84

That's about 120 miles a day! Weee

Now for me, it's always a lot easier to see the negatives than the positives. So be it. I guess (like Australia) I'm waiting for the best places. So, what i didn't like:

1) black women (80%). That's not racist, that's a fact. They're rude, loud, outspoken, angry, and love to argue. Especially with other black women. Must be a territory thing.

2) black men (90%). They're racist. They still think this country owes them, and for that they think they are better. They play music on the bus when explicitly told not too, they barge through queues, they talk loudly, and look down on everyone.

3) it's expensive! Prices vary from place to place of course, but compare a cheeseburger uk (£1) to the cheapest i found - $2. And they go up to £3! For a chesseburger! Supermarkets, snacks, sodas, clothes, all of it.

4) contrary to the above, cigarretes are cheaper. £7 a pack of twenty. But never did i see tobacco. This is only found in specialist tobacco stores. Which are very rare.

There are plenty more, but i dont want to be 'derivitive'. Too late? Oh well.

So, onto pastures new. South America.

Define irony. Moaning about a country where, technically, i was safe, or appreciate a country where it's not safe...

Life. Funky, innit.